In some ways, it seems like only yesterday, and from the perspective of eternity, I suppose it was. In other ways, it seems like half a lifetime ago, and in human terms, I suppose it was that too. Whatever way one looks at it, eighteen years ago today, on a brisk January Saturday, Karla and I were married.

To many people today, eighteen years seems an impossibly long time to sustain a marriage. When I mention to someone my age or younger how many years my wife and I have been together, the pronouncement is frequently met with the sort of goggle-eyed astonishment once reserved for the laser show at the planetarium, or the bearded lady in the circus. Often the look is accompanied by a question, spoken or unspoken: “How’d you do that?”

We could say the secret of our success is the utter synchronicity of our union — two minds thinking alike, two hearts beating as one, all that Hallmark-card stuff. Or we could say we’ve never exchanged a cross word or weathered a stormy patch. We could say those things, but they wouldn’t be true. No enterprise involving fallible human beings could ever be perfect, and our marriage is no exception. That said, we can point to a few contributing factors that have helped get us to our eighteenth anniversary.

“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). A determination Karla and I made at the beginning of our marriage, and have stuck with through everything. The major decisions of our life together — and most of the minor ones — have been made in the light of our service to God. There have been directions we haven’t gone and roads we haven’t taken because to do so would have impeded our way in Christ. This has been especially true in terms of the career paths we’ve followed. Neither of us has ever taken a job that would separate us from God’s work or from one another. Those choices have surely cost us money over the years, but they’ve never cost us anything that truly matters.

“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). Any two people living in close quarters will have differences. The trick is not allowing those differences to act as a wedge. Karla has tolerated my eccentricities and weaknesses with uncommon grace. She rarely goads me about those frustrating quirks of my personality — and they are numerous, I fear — that aren’t likely to change. Neither of us broods long over slights. We try to be quick to forgive and forget.

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). My relationship with my wife is a blessing, not a handicap. I appreciate how much better my life is with her than it could ever be without her. I try — though never as much as I should — to let her know that being with her is for me “a good thing.” And I try to let others know that too. I trust that no one here has ever heard me belittle or impugn my wife, in public or in private. I’m confident Karla always speaks of me in submission and with respect. (Even when I don’t deserve it.)

“This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast” (Hebrews 6:19). Our marriage has survived challenges that might have divided other couples. That in itself doesn’t make us special — many have surely experienced far sterner stuff than we have. But whatever comes, we’ve faced it in the light of our hope in Christ. Whatever the loss or illness or reversal of fortune, we know our Lord will never let us be opposed by an obstacle His grace won’t enable us to surmount together. We’ve never quit on each other because Jesus has never quit on us.

“Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 9:9). I thank God daily for the loving wife He’s given me. I pray I bring her joy as she does to me.